Crazy Greetings

Some time in your life, if you haven’t already, you are bound to visit a place you have never visited before. If you are reading this and have never experienced this then you are a hermit or a new born baby with the amazing ability of accessing the internet and reading as well.

Anyway, with this occasional visiting of far off lands it is imperative to think of the way people are welcomed in such lands. For example, in Hawaii (although I have never been) when you are welcomed in this tropical paradise you are adorned with a lei, or you are leied as some like to say. But this then leads to snickering and more innuendos, which could be a whole different blog topic. I regress. If you are popular, you could receive hundreds of leis. If you are like me, you are lucky to get one.

Another popular greeting around the world is kissing. Of course everybody knows the cheek kissing in France (not to be confused with the American “French Kiss.”) Now this is commonly done in two but can get crazy up to four or six! That’s a little too much for me. In Latin America it is not uncommon to greet people with a single cheek kiss; especially if you ARE single! Here in the United States we kiss on greeting (sometimes) but we seem to have better aim then most and connect on the lips!

Finally, but not the last kind of greeting is that of the pineapple! Crazy you say? Well the pineapple has been known to be a simple of welcome and friendship since the Colonial times. The pineapple was even used in the woodcarvings around the home; bed posts, door frames, outside the front door, etc. It would even be given as a give to the visitor to help them feel welcome.

So the next time you head off to some distant land like Iowa, look for the crazy welcomes. Or if you are expecting out-of-townees, place a lei around a pineapple and give it a kiss; your crazy guests will have no choice but to feel the love!

Pet Peeves Crazy

OK, so I know it's kind of redundant to say Pet Peeves and Crazy in the same line, but I did it! And no I am not talking about your neighbor's Brittish Bulldog named "Peeves!" This is the real deal, those little things that get under your skin and irritate you like crazy!

So one of my pet peeves is Stupid Drivers. They are all over the place! I know some people could argue the fact that I could possibly fall into that category. But I think of myself as more of a "Crazy" driver; or a proactive driver. But there are so many things which to qualify a stupid driver. Driving without our headlights on in the middle of the night, putting makeup on while driving, shaving while driving (both male and female), leaving your blinker on, tailgating, etc. But that would have to be my biggest driving pet peeve, when someone is so much in a hurry they are practically up my exhaust pipe! Don't they realize the closer they get, the slower I go. And then it gets fun because they get even madder! It's great!

Another pet peeve is leaving the toilet paper roll empty! I mean come on! How hard can it really be! OK, so the little, plastic, spring-loaded contraption which holds the TP in place can be a little tricky to maneuver, if you're FIVE! If you take the last little sheet, please, just put a new roll on. Thank you.

Last and most egregious of them all, the very one that keeps me up at night and causes me uncontrollable shakes is SPITTING! Ahhh! Just thinking about it makes me queasy. Just swallow it OK! It came from inside you so keep it inside you! And if you feel you can not live with out spitting, then do it in a private room, like the bathroom (check the toilet paper while you are there). Or maybe when no one else is arround! But for heaven's sake, don't spit on the sidewalk, the grass, where people are, on the gym floor!

So then next time you see someone driving down the road, following too closly to the car infront of it while spitting out the window and blowing their nose with the last bit of toilet paper they took from the bathroom, and the car infront of them starts going balistic, speed up and at least wave hello to me so I know someone cares out there! If not, I just might go crazy!

Crazy Jedi Master

So with the last name Luke, you either like Star Wars or hate it. I fall under the first, Love it! Some would say I'm even crazy about it. There are even times when I like to pretend I am a Jedi Master. I know, sounds a little crazy. But you have seen those Star Wars fanatics, they are really crazy.

So you ask, "How to you 'pretend' you are a Jedi Master?" You say "pretend" because in fact you know I am not pretending but I really think I am one. It's OK, I accept my fate. I'm a Jedi Master. And I will tell you how! No, I'm not small and green, it's other ways.

My favorite way to be a Jedi is when I'm walking into a grocery store. You know they have those automatic doors, I mean doors at the front. And just as I am walking in the doors I use the force (by taking my right hand and pointing at the doors and moving it to the side, telling all the midi-chlorians to move the door out of my way.) I know if you saw me doing it you would really think some crazy guy is out there. My wife would think so too. The thing is she usually walks ahead of me so she never sees me using the force. And if I'm paying attention I will get the door for her too.

Another way I use the force is at my office. I am able to make the lights come on as I walk into the room, without even touching the switch! Some would say the like switch is set on a motion sensor and when there is no movement in the room the lights turn off and as soon as there is movement the light come back on. I like to think of it as I use the Force to turn the lights on, pretty easy.

Last but not least, I use the Force when I am driving. It's a little harder, but I get it to work, for the most part. For example I will be driving down the freeway (or riding in some cases) and there is a car going slower, in my way. So I just take a little switch of the hand to the right or left and they move. It has been done before! Just ask my work partner. It is a little harder to do at high speeds but if I really focus on the Force then I can get it to work. If not, I just have to whip out my light saber and cut a hole in their tires!

So then next time you are walking into the grocery store, or into your office and you see some guy (or gal) waving their hand to open the doors or turn on the lights, don't think of them as some crazy person. Know they are! Know they are a Crazy Jedi Master!

Crazy Tags 2!

Eight Favorite TV Shows (no particular order)
1. The Directors
2. How it's Made
3. What I learned from the Movies
4. MacGyver
5. Everybody Loves Raymond
6. Faiser
7. Looney Tunes
8. Animaniacs

Eight Favorite Restaurants
1. Chilies
2. The Busy Bee (it's a bar)
3. Sigfried's (German place)
4. Wendy's
5. Papa Murphy's
6. Cafe Rio
7. Panda Express
8. Burrito Stand at the South end of the Gateway

Eight Things that Happened Yesterday
1. Went to a 0730 meeting
2. Got rained on
3. Took my neighbor's paper (just one of the four they get.)
4. Went to Stake Conference
5. Ate Lasagna (homemade)
6. Played Bookworm on phone
7. Played with my kids
8. Sat with my wife and searched the Internet

Eight Things to Look Forward to
1. Tomorrow
2. Thanksgiving (with John)
3. My anniversary
4. Christmas
5. New Years
6. My Birthday
7. Erin's Birthday
8. Obtaining my Bachelors Degree

Eight Things I love about Fall
1. Football
2. My anniversary
3. Jackets
4. The Rain
5. Thanksgiving
6. Veteran's Day
7. One more semester down
8. Hot chocolate

Eight Things In My Wish List
1. New socks
2. New black socks
3. New undershirts
4. Cologne
5. Three Piece Suit (another)
6. A black fleece vest (XL)
7. New socks
8. My BA

Eight People I Tag (This goes for the previous tag as well, since I forgot.)
1. Emma
2. Megan
3. Hunter
4. Chad
5. Mary
6. Bruce
7. Harry
8. Heidi (since she wasn't tagged.)

Crazy Tags!

I am... William Harrison Luke, you killed my father, prepare to die!
I know... how to tie my shoes.
I want... harsher punishments for parole violators, oh yeah, and world peace.
I have... five little fingers on one little hand, I have six on the other I don't understand.
I wish... for a fish, in a dish that tastes delish!
I hate... haters! All of them!
I miss... my imaginary friend
I fear... the fearless
I feel... like chicken tonight, like chicken tonight!
I hear... a who!
I smell... beef and cheese and sit on a throne of lies!
I crave... Erin's cooking!
I search... the Internet.
I wonder... why each little bird has a someone.
I regret... eating those beans last night. So do my co-workers.
I love... rocky road, so weren't you going to buy a half gallon baby!
I care... because I scare.
I always... enjoy a good laugh.
I am going... on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again.
I believe... the children are our future.

Crazy 'bout Cheese!

Boy, oh boy, I love cheese! Sometimes I get a really hankering for a hunk of cheese. Now I'm not the only one that likes cheese. Cheese is internationally loved! At the closest grocery store to my home, there is a cheese station! Every time I walk by I want to grab a chunk of cheese to take home. When I don't take one, it usually dives me crazy!

Cheese is such a part of life. When you are young you are exposed to cheese at an early stage (usually not until after the first birthday, doctor's orders.) Youngsters are brought into the cheese world slowly, first introduced to milk, then maybe some yogurt, them BAM! Macaroni and Cheese! I know, it's processed but cheese nonetheless. Then we move into grilled cheese sandwiches, ham and cheese sandwiches. Then we start sprinkling cheese on our eggs in the morning and then slip into a cheese frenzy and cheese is everywhere! We even say "Cheese" when taking pictures! It's crazy!

Now, at least for my generation, there are a couple of important figures obsessed by the milk product. First one I can think of is Monterey Jack, "Monty" to his friends. He was on Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers. He went bonkers when cheese was around. His mustache would twist, his eyes would go crazy, and he would just have to have some cheese. (Just ask my wife, these same symptoms occur at the grocery store for me!)

Second icon that loved cheese is someone I always looked up to; Steve Urkel! Yup! The crazy neighbor to the Winslow's on Family Matters. He was crazy about cheese too. When he got the sense of cheese around, he would start this wiggling in his body and melt to the wishes of whom ever had the tasty morsel. (Once again, another symptom I exhibit.)

So when it comes down to it, cheese is fantastic! I can eat it with macaroni, I like it melted between two slices of bread, I like it with crackers, I even just like to eat it straight from the wheel! So if anyone reading this wants to send me something nice, make it cheese!

Fly n' Crazy

No, I'm not saying I'm Fly for a white guy. I'm talking about the real insect. The Fly! They are crazy little buggers. They are much neater than their cousins, The Walk. They are all over the world, bugging everyone! If you care, the fly insect is of the Diptera Order. Yep, you can store that away and thank me when it's the final question on Jepordy!

So, flies. Houseflies, horseflies, mayflies, dragonflies, damselflies, stoneflies, whiteflies, fireflies, alderflies, dobsonflies, snakeflies, sawflies, caddisflies, butterflies, scorpionflies, boogerflies, etc. (Ok, so the last one is not an insect but what thrid graders do!) All these are types of flies! You know what they all have in common? That's right, they all end in "flies!"

So the other thing about flies is they never have to worry about saying, "Oh I wish I was a fly on the wall in that room!" They usually are! But, if they are tired of their loved ones, they can say, "Shoo fly, don't bother me!" And even better, they get to call their children "maggots!" I don't think it gets better than that!

So my true reason in blogging about flies, is because some people call me the "Fly Whisperer." I know, fancy name! I don't tame wild flies or tame tame flies that become wild because of an accident. What I do is snatch them right out of the sky! I know, I know, sounds pretty impressive and I'm sure you are looking for an example. Well, I haven't caught it on tape (he, he! "caught" it on "tape"! Like I use fly paper! Not even!) Nope, it's just me and the fly! Like Mr. Miyagi, on the Karate Kid!

The fat crazy ones are easier to catch. It's those small ones which can ellude me for a time. But wind or rain, I catch my fly! Just ask my wife! Ido it all the time. There was even one time I was sitting on the couch and a fly flew behind my head and I just snatched it in the air, behind my head! It was awsome!

So anyway, remember the next time you see a fly (and maybe even if you try to catch it mid flight) know the Fly Whisperer is out their, catching those crazy critters!